Loving You Wasn't Part Of The Plan
by AyWolfNation
Summary: Clarke and Octavia were best friends for years, until one night Abby arrests O's father for tax evasion and money laundering. Ending their friendship. Years later Octavia's mother formulated a plan to get her husband out of prison that involved her daughter rekindling her previous friendship with Clarke, only to get close to Abby, but will tensions fail and love prevail?
1. Chapter 1

I re-wrote the First Chapter because I felt I didn't give much of a back story between the two, and just kind of rushed into things. The beginning is still the same, but everything else has changed. So here is the newly revised/rewritten part to Chapter 1.

There she was.

Walking in with a radiating confidence, outfitted like she just walked out of a photo shoot for American Eagle. Heads turned as she fluently strode through the room, looking for an open desk. It was the first day of school here at Arkadia High, and already most of the seats were filled with peers, eagerly exchanging stories from their summer break.

Octavia's eyes followed her every move, like a lion stalking its prey. She was her prey. An innocent antelope, completely unaware of the predator that lurked.

Octavia had a hidden motive, and a bone to pick. It wasn't until she made eye contact with the brunette that Octavia quickly adverted her gaze, pretending to busy herself with her bookbag.

"Hey, O." Her all too familiar voice filled Octavia's ears. "Is this seat taken?" Octavia had been so engaged watching her when she first walked in that she completely forgot Mr. Aldrich had arranged his desks two by two. She has this big smile on her face, nodding towards the empty desk next to me.

"Does it look open?" Octavia said, sarcasm clear in her tone. She didn't even bother to look up.

"Right. So, how have you been?" Clarke inquires, placing her books and laptop on the desk.

"Great."

**_'Clarke Griffin. The bane of my existence. Well, not really Clarke, but rather her mother; Abby Griffin. Unfortunately, Clarke has been pulled into this fool proof plan, her mother being the intended target. When this whole thing started, my mother told me that I would be the one to befriend Clarke. _**

**_Again. _**

**_See when we were younger, much younger. Six or Seven to be exact, Clarke and I were friends. Best friends. We were inseparable, always causing mischief when the sun was high, and then sleeping over at each other's houses at night. That was until the day her mother came and took my father away for tax evasion, and money laundering, or so they say. Her mother was a detective for the APD back then, now she's the head of her department. Her new position is privy to all sorts of information. Information my mother wants.'_**

"What's going on up there?" Clarke inquires. Studying the brunette.

"Why are you so interested all of a sudden?" Octavia snarked, fixing Clarke with a glare.

"Why are you being so hateful?" The blonde bit back, she couldn't understand why Octavia was being like this. "We used to be close, O. Like are parents couldn't keep us apart. What's changed?"

**_'Is she kidding me? Her mother took my father away in hand cuffs, ruining my childhood.'_**

"Seriously, Clarke? You don't remember what change my entire life? Huh?!" she paused for a moment, needing to calm her breathing. "You really don't remember?" She scoffed.

"Of course, I do, Octavia. How could I possibly forget? That was the day I lost my best friend. You meant everything to me, O. I hated my mother for years after; begging her to bring your father home. Back to you, so I could have you back." The blonde was clearly holding back tears as she spoke. Octavia's anger dissipated a little, feeling awful all of a sudden.

"I'm sorry. I guess I never thought about how you felt about the situation. I'm not looking to make excuses, but life hasn't been very easy for me. My mother didn't take it well, obviously, and still isn't. My brother is an ass, but I think he's just always been that way." The last bit earned a chuckle from the blonde. Octavia smiled; it was nice hearing that laugh again.

"It's okay. I can't imagine what you went through." Clarke lowered her gaze, playing with some kind of lace on her shirt.

"I think you can."

Clarke looked at Octavia after hearing those words. Her gaze was softer now, her stony façade had crumbled a little. "Yeah, well I was a lot older when that happened so I could understand and grieve easier than a seven-year-old could."

"Did they ever catch the guy who did it?" Clarke shook her head, shifting uncomfortably.

Octavia was about to console the blonde when the teacher walked in, asking that everyone settle down. The tardy bell rang shortly after. As soon as he was pleased enough that people were quiet, he began talking about the first day syllabus.

"I've really missed you, O." Clarke whispers, smiling at the brunette. Hearing her say that stirs something deep inside, reawakening.

Smiling back, Octavia replies, "I've missed you too, Princess." She knows Clarke hates that name, but it was always their thing when they were younger. They would play a game they had made up, Princess in the Dungeon, and Clarke was always the Princess. Octavia loved that game because she would always get to save the Princess, and Clarke would always say "You're my knight in shining armor, O, and one day well be married." She always took those words to heart, that was until that very night. Then everything changed, and Clarke was no longer her Princess.

"Oh man, it's been so long since I've heard that nickname." Clarke laughed, receiving a warning from the teacher.

Octavia chuckled to herself. "Do you remember that game we used to play?"

"How could I not? You always saved me, my knight in shining armor." Clarke teased, bumping her shoulder against the brunette's.

The two fell into an easy banter for the rest of class. Both girls were warned a couple more times by the teacher about their up roar and distraction to others.

When the bell rang to dismiss everyone, the two began to gather their things. Octavia taking her time as she was also lost in her thoughts. Contemplating whether she should give Clarke her number.

"Hey, are you okay?" Clarke questioned, eyeing the girl.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just thinking."

"What about?" Clarke set her bag back down, her eyes never leaving Octavia.

"Oh, just trying to decide whether I want to give this girl my number or not. She seems alright, kind of pushy sometimes but that's ok. Kind of adds to her character." She muses, tapping her finger on the desk nonchalantly.

"Mhm, and who might this pushy girl be? Do I know her?"

Octavia meets the blonde's gaze, "Oh I think you know her best."

Clarke couldn't help the smile that spread across her face, "I do, do I? Well this pushy girl says go for it then." This time the smile spread across Octavia's face.

As soon as Octavia left the class room she felt her phone go off. She grinned knowing well, who it was as she pulled it from her pocket, "What are you so giddy about?"

Nearly jumping, she sees her brother stand in front of her. If he hadn't of spoken up when he did, she would of surely ran into the boy. "Can I not be giddy?"

He smirked, "Not when you're staring at your phone, smiling like that. Now spill, I'm pulling the older brother card."

Octavia rolled her eyes, walking past him, "I don't think that's how that's supposed to work, Bell. I'm late for class, see you later."

The boy shrugged, turning to leave as well when he spotted a certain blonde at her locker, phone in hand and she too was smiling that stupid giddy smile his sister was just sporting. He thought for moment, wondering if that could be who his sister had been texting, and if it had been, why she didn't say anything to him about talking to Clarke again.

He walked up to the blonde who was still fixated on her phone. "Hey Griffin, long time no see." He must have a knack for startling women. Clarke dropped her phone in the process. "Here, let me." He bent down grabbing the phone, taking a quick glance at the screen before handing it back. Unfortunately, he wasn't able to get a good look at the name. "Sorry about that."

"It's okay, Bell. Its good to see you, how have you been?" She inquired, tucking the phone away.

"Oh, you know, same shit different day. How about you?"

"I've been good, thanks for asking. Are you still playing football? I haven't seen you out on the field in a while."

He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Nah, I've got to much going on at home to focus on that, plus my grades weren't that great so I probably would have been benched anyway, and I couldn't let the coach have the upper hand, so I just quit."

"Ah, yes, you can't let Coach Burnham have that, he can be quite a prick. Even to us girls, and were just there to keep you all hydrated." She states, rolling her eyes.

Bellamy laughed, "Prick is an understatement, but anyway I just thought I'd come by and say hey. I should probably get going or I'm going to be late to algebra. Gag.."

"You're funny, Bell. Well don't be a stranger, though we may be seeing each other a lot more again." She smiled, leaning against the locker.

"Oh?"

"Yeah, O and I are talking again." She beamed, playing with the hem of her book.

"That's great! I'm so please to hear that, Griff. She's changed a lot since that night, ya know? It'd be nice for her to have someone to lean on again, lord knows she won't do that with me anymore, but I think that's maybe just the teenager hormones." He joked, again running his hand through his hair. "Well, I've really got to go, and you probably should too."

"Oh shit, your right. We've got five minutes." She exclaimed, glancing at her phone. "Well then I'll see you around, Bell."

"Of course. See ya, Griffin." They wave goodbye walking opposite directions. Bellamy immediately texts his sister. **We need to talk.**

Octavia got home that afternoon, phone still attached to her hand, smiling like a fool. "I see your phone is still working, that's good."

"Shit, Bell. You've got to stop doing that." Octavia exclaimed, dropping off her backpack by the front door. "What about it? I got your text; I just didn't see the need to reply given that we live together and everything." She snarked at the boy. "What do you want to talk about?"

"Griffin."

"Oh come on, Bell. I feel like we have this conversation daily. I'm working on it."

"When are you guys going to hanging out?" He questions, leaning forward on the couch to grab the beer he was working on.

"I don't know, soon." She shrugged, turning to go upstairs.

"Call her."

She stopped dead in her tracks, "What?"

"Right now. Ask her if she wants to hang out now."

"Bell, what are you-"

"I know you have her number. I put it together earlier at school, not to mention when she told me that she would be seeing a lot more of me; thanks to you two talking again."

Octavia didn't know how to reply. She knows what he's getting at. His pride is hurt because she didn't tell him that they were talking again. "I'll hang out with her, when we hang out. Okay?" She bit, fixing him with a glare. He was always a dick, but even more so when he drank. "Also, lay off the beer. Your actual six pack looks a little… How should I say, protruded?"

He didn't say anything else, just turned his attention back onto the show he had been watching. Octavia took that as her que to leave, bolting up the stairs, two by two.

She was so frustrated, she hated how much her brother had changed. She missed the sweet, caring older brother she knew a decade ago. He just had to ruin everything. She did want to ask Clarke to hang out, but now, the fact that her doing so would just let her brother know that he won.

She wanted to cry, shout, scream anything but she wouldn't let herself stoop that low. She hated feeling weak, and Bellamy just somehow always brought her to that point.

A ding filled the room. Octavia immediately retrieved her phone, smiling when she read the text. **_'I guess we both wanted the same thing.'_**

**Clarke: Free right now? I'm craving some ice cream.**

**O: Uhm, yes please!**

**Clarke: Great, I'll pick you up in fifteen.**

Octavia threw herself onto the bed, sighing in contentment. Technically, Clarke asked to hang out, so Bellamy can suck it.

The two were inseparable the next couple weeks, spending every chance they got with each other. Slowly but surely their friendship was growing again, amending past damages.

"I'm going to, Clarkes. See you."

"O," Bellamy starts, grabbing his sister's attention who was already almost out the door. "Have you gotten anything on her mom yet?"

"Again, and still, no. I'm working on it." She stated, throwing her hands in the air. "This takes time, Bell."

"You're right, but you've also been saying that for weeks now. What exactly do you do over there?"

Scoffing at the boy, she grabs her keys. "None of your damn business." With that, she left. Slamming the door on her way out. Bellamy sighed, taking a swig of his sixth beer. He wanted so badly for his mother to get better and this was the only way. To him it felt like Octavia could care less and that infuriated him.

"Hey, you okay?" Clarke asked, noticing the brunette's quiet demeaner. She paused the show they were watching to turn towards her friend. "What's up?"

"Hmm? Nothing. I'm sorry. Just have a lot on my mind." Octavia answered. They were both laying on Clarke's bed.

"Want to talk about it?" The blonde inquired, taking Octavia's hand and gently squeezing it. That always seemed to calm her down when they were younger. Octavia immediately began to relax, smiling internally at how good it felt to feel Clarke again. Even if it was just her hand in hers.

Releasing a long drawn out breath, she turned to face the blonde. "It's just my brother. I miss how close we used to be. He used to be so loving and caring towards me, but now all he cares about is..." She quickly stops herself. She shouldn't be talking to Clarke about any of this.

"Cares about what?" Clarke pries, lacing their fingers together.

Octavia rolls onto her back again, staring at the ceiling. She thinks about how she wants to respond; she clearly can't give away the truth so she just settles for "drinking beer every night."

Clarke can sense the discomfort in her friends' tone, "I'm sorry, O. That must be really hard to deal with."

Octavia scoffed, "Yeah, and on top of that my mother has gone crazy, and I mean that as nice as I can but her attitude isn't any better. Always expecting everything of me; do this do that. Never once has she talked to Bellamy that way. I don't even know if I should take that as a compliment or that I'm the redheaded step child minus the chores." Octavia was becoming worked up and Clarke could tell this conversation needed to be changed.

"Let's talk about something else, you're getting yourself worked up." Clarke spoke in a gentle tone as to not upset the brunette any further. She began to rub Octavia's fingers with her thumb.

Octavia turned her head, staring at the blonde. "How do you do that?" she asks.

"Do what?" Clarke repositioned herself to where she was now resting on her elbow.

"Your touch. It's very calming. It throws me through a loop every time." The brunette admitted, chancing a glance at Clarke's lips.

The blonde definitely noticed. "I don't know. Maybe my fingers are full of fairy dust." She teased, looking down at their hands.

"Wouldn't one of us be flying then?"

Clarke chuckled, "I'm sure there are more than one type of fairy, each with their own affect."

"Why are we talking about fairies?" Octavia questioned, rolling onto her side. Each time they moved, they somehow gravitated towards each other; now being only a few inches apart. Octavia was amazed at how blue the blonde's eyes were.

"I don't know." Clarke whispered, staring at the brunette's mouth. Octavia saw this and decided to make a show of it by licking her lips.

"What are you waiting for?" Octavia could have taken the chance to kiss her herself, but this felt more intoxicating. She always chased the girls, being the aggressor. She wanted to change things up a bit and by the looks of it, Clarke loved the challenge.

Clarke smirked, "Oh, you think that's where this is heading?"

Octavia knew she was teasing, maybe even taunting the brunette but she wasn't going to fall for it. She could however play along. Leaning in she focuses all her attention on the blondes' lips occasionally catching her eyes which seem to betray something between fear and desire. Now only millimeters from the girls lips she can feel her hot breath. Clarke closes her eyes in anticipation for what she thinks is to come. At the last-minute Octavia reaches behind the girl, grabbing the long-forgotten bag of chips from the nightstand before retreating.

Clarke furrows her brows, her eyes still closed. "Alright. I see what this is." She murmured, slowly opening her eyes that immediately landing on Octavia laying there eating chips like nothing happened. Clarke snatched the bag from the girl; tossing it and its contents somewhere in the room.

"There were still chips in there!" Octavia whined, sitting up as the chips hit the ground; imploding. "What was that fo-" Her words died out when the blonde just as quickly as when she the threw the chips was on top of her.

Straddling her hips, Clarke grabbed Octavia's face ensuring she had the girl's attention; and man did she. "Is this what you wanted?" She teased. Her heart was racing and she was nervous as hell, but there was something about Octavia that made her feel at ease.

Octavia could only nod, completely dumbfounded by the girl's antics. As if on autopilot she wrapped her arms around the blonde, pulling her closer.

"Then what are you waiting for?" Clarke teased wrapping her arms around the girl's neck.

Octavia was struggling to keep control. **_'So much for changing things up a bit.' _**

"Please, O." The blonde pleaded.

**_'That'll work.'_** Octavia thought as she leaned in.

Clarke whimpered when their lips met, completely overwhelmed by the spark that came with it. Octavia deepened the kiss, pulling the girl even closer to her as she swiped her tongue against the blondes' bottom lip, biting it as she pulled back a little. Just enough to take a quick breath then she was back at her lips begging for entrance. Clarke immediately granted her just that, sighing as their tongues met. The two carried on for some time before finally breaking apart.

Hearts thrumming painfully against their chests, both felt exhilarated from the kiss. They continued to stare into each other's eyes as hours seemed to pass, but in reality, only moments had gone by.

"Will you be my girlfriend?" They both asked at the same time. Octavia chuckled at the absurdity before leaning back in to give the blonde one last sweet kiss. They didn't need to answer, it was clear what they both wanted. Was this a long time coming though or a blossom over the past couple of weeks? Neither cared right then.

All they wanted was this moment in time, and whatever else was to come.


	2. Chapter 2

**HERE WE ARE, THE NEXT INSTALLMENT! THE NEXT CHAPTER I'LL BE WRITING ON WILL BE 'ALL THE TIME TO SHARE'. ANYWAY I HOPE YOU ALL ENJOY. FEEDBACK IS WELCOMED**

"Our lips are going to be a chapped mess if we don't stop." Clarke panted out in between kisses. Octavia just hummed her agreeance not make any attempt to stop her actions. She was currently lying on top of Clarke.

"Babe, we've been doing this for thirty minutes." Clarke continues her protest, but really not giving a fuck whether they stopped or not. She could kiss her girlfriend for eternity for all she cares.

"Not long enough," Octavia mumbles moving to kiss her jawline. "We have a lot of time to make up for." She breathes, reaching the nape of her neck. Licking up to her earlobe earning a breathy groan in approval.

"O.." Clarke warned, playfully. Reaching down to grab her girlfriend's ass, yanking forward. Doing so caused Octavia's thigh to press into Clarke's core causing her to gasp. They both froze, Octavia stared wide eye into Clarke's blue ones.

"I'm so sorry, are you ok?" Clarke nodded, her pulse had picked up beats and she was trying to calm it back down. "You're right, we should stop."

"No! I mean yes. I just… We can still kiss." Clarke exclaimed, taking Octavia's hand in hers.

"Yeah, kissing is fine, or it was fine." She stopped when she saw Clarke furrow her brows, "What I mean is, lately this whole making out thing has been… doing things to me. Making me feel intoxicated, like all over my body, and then hearing you gasp like that. I felt something… Really nice settle kind of low in my belly." She can't look at Clarke just yet, not after admitting all of that. This was all still so new to her.

"I know what you mean, when your thigh rubbed against me… down there. It was like… mini fireworks shot off all of a sudden, tiny jolts of electricity coursed through my body. It was intense, that's why I gasped."

She finally met Clarke's eyes, "Do you think we are ready to take it to the next level?"

Clarke shrugged, "I don't know, I mean we've been dating now for almost a week. How do other couples do it?"

Octavia cringed a little, "Well I know Bell likes to take girls home on the first date, I can hear them every time. Grosses me out."

"Well, maybe we could try it out sometime." Clarke mused, leaning in to kiss the nape of O's neck. Octavia sighed, filling that familiar build in her stomach, and thighs. "But not today, my mom will be home in fifteen minutes, and I actually have some house work I still need to get done before then.

Octavia pouted when the blonde pulled away, "Are you kicking me out?"

"No, you can stay and help me."

"Okay, but only if you wear some skimpy maid outfit." Octavia was grinning at Clarke, who looked less than amused. "You get to do the dishes." She states before leaving the room.

"Meh, I'll take dishes over the bathrooms." Octavia chuckled, rising from the bed to chase her girlfriend down the stairs.

Their chores took them two hours to complete, due to the face that they were joking around and sneaking kisses when they could.

Abby Griffin watched their interactions, especially Octavia. She remembered that night clear as day. It was the hardest thing she ever had to do. She never wanted to break their family up, but she had no choice in the matter.

**_"I've got another one for you, detective. This one is a class three and needs to be priority, okay?" Thelonious spoke, tossing a file onto Abby's desk. _**

**_"What is it about? Why is it class three?" Abby questioned, grabbing the file off the desk. The first thing to catch her attention was the last name. Blake. How many Blake's could there possibly be in Arkadia? She quickly flipped it open, landing on the person of interests first name, Kaiden. 'This can't be right.' She thought, still flipping through all the evidence they had so far. "Laundering? Tax Evasion?" she questioned, looking at her chief. "This can't be right, sir. I mean no disrespect, but I know this family, and this man, he would never do something like money laundering. Tax evasion, maybe but that's not something we need to take him to prison for. Who gathered all of this?" _**

**_"I understand your concerns, Abby, but this is a level three case. Which means that there is no mistake, and it doesn't matter who gathered the information. Your job is to go out and arrest the bad guys, right?" There was a slight undertone of irritation and anger in Thelonious's voice._**

**_"Well yes, of course, but this doesn't feel right, sir. Could I at least do some researching on my own? I'm very close with the family, it should be easy to find informa-"_**

**_"Abby, I really like you. You are one of my best detectives in this unit. I'd really hate to lose you just because of some personal ties with a man who's broken the law. Do you want that?" Jaha stepped closer, leaning onto her desk so he could be level with her when he spoke._**

**_"N-No sir, but please. Just one day. That's all I'm asking for." Abby was certain Kaiden was innocent, there was just no way. That family has had its hardships for as long as she can remember. Struggling to pay rent some times. Abby even helped buy groceries for them when they needed help, they were that close, not to mention their daughters were inseparable. This would crush Octavia and Bellamy. She didn't even want to think about Aurora. _**

**_"I don't want to hear anymore of it, either you arrest him tonight or I'll throw you back on the streets; writing tickets for expired parking meters. Got it?"_**

**_She was about to protest again, beg him to give the case to another. She wouldn't be able to handle seeing all their faces when it happens, but she also very well couldn't lose her job. What a pickle she was in 'What the hell, Kaiden. What have you done?' she sighed heavily be for nodding her head._**

**_"I'm sorry, did you say something? I couldn't quite hear you over that nodding." Jaha bit, standing and folding his arms._**

**_"Yes, sir." She bit back, trying to hid as much animosity as she could._**

**_Thelonious smiled before walking away._**

**_"Fuck.."_**

"Mom? Are you okay?" Clarke inquired, noticing her mother's solemn expression.

"Huh? Yeah, of course. Just remembered something I needed to do for work. I've got to go take care of that; I'll be back later. You two be good." She said, pointing her finger at the both of them in a teasing manner.

"Oh, stop it mom. Go, get out of here. We'll be good, I promise." Clarke replied, giving her mother a playful shove. Octavia loved the interaction between the two. She wishes she and her mother were more like that, rather than this master to trainee bullshit. Her father would be so upset with her if he knew, but that was the whole point. This training and planning are all for him, even if it's turned my mother into this cold lifeless human being.

"Let's go to my room and watch Lost Girls!" Clarke requests, grabbing Octavia by the hand as she begins to pull her up the stairs.

"Again? We just finished it last week. Should I be worried about Anna Silk? I'm starting to think you may have a thing for her." O teases, starting a chase up the stairs after Clarke.

Laughing Clarke replies, "And you don't for Zoie Palmer?"

Tackling Clarke onto the bed, she pins her arms above her head. "Pinned Ya, but they are pretty fucking hot together." Octavia admits.

"We're pretty fucking hot together. C'mere." Clarke musters all the strength she has and rolls them over, immediately capturing Octavia's lips in a hungry heated kiss. Octavia groans, filled with bliss from how hot the kiss was, taking the opportunity Clarke slipped her tongue into O's relishing the sweet sensation it brought on. This time both girls groaned, the intoxication leading Octavia to slip her hands under the hem of Clarke's shirt. Slowly gliding her fingertips up the bare of her back. Clarke broke the kiss as she inhaled sharply, arching her back into O's touch.

"Fuck." She whispered, staring into Octavia's eyes which where the size of the moon.

"Are you okay with this?" Octavia asked, her meaning obviously meant for more than just her hands under her girlfriend's shirt. She was gauging Clarke's thoughts, her wants and needs.

"Yes, anything with you." Was her answer, and that was all Octavia needed to hear as she leaned back in, kissing her girlfriend sweetly, and gently before picking up pace again. Octavia continued to glide her hand around Clarke's smooth skin reaching her shoulder blades.

Clarke sat up all of a sudden. Leaving Octavia whimpering at the sudden loss of contact, she slowly pulled her shirt off. Revealing a charcoal bra, accented a deep maroon lace. Octavia's mouth slowly opened in amazement. Clarke couldn't help the surge of pride and care she felt with Octavia's gaze on her.

"Yeah, we are fucking hot." Octavia growled, flipping their positions so that now she was straddling Clarke. She leaned in, placing hot kisses along her jaw, earning several gasps and groans. She then continued her onslaught further down the nape of her neck, where she bit down gently. Receiving another gasp.

Clarke's breathing was rapid. Dragging her fingers up O's back, "You have to much on." She panted, desperately trying to rid her of her shirt. Octavia chuckled, leaning back to toss her shirt away. She watched as Clarke took in the sight before her, ever so softly running her finger tips across Octavia's abdomen and stomach before meeting her eyes again.

"You're so beautiful, O." she whispered, reaching up to caress her cheek. Octavia leaned into her touch, closing her eyes. She's never felt something this powerful before. It was overwhelming, but in a good way, and she was certain the blonde felt it too.

She couldn't help herself; her heart was pounding like never before. Her skin prickled with electricity, even more fueling this feeling she was dwelling with in her head. She felt like she was on top of the world when she was with Clarke, and maybe she's always felt this way. She's always been drawn to Clarke. Even with those years apart she would always watch Clarke from a distance, but always chalked it up to hatred, but thinking back know she's not so sure.

"What's going on in that head of yours?" Clarke spoke gently, still caressing the brunette's face. Octavia gazed at Clarke, committing to memory every crease of her soft skin, the glow in her eyes. The way she looks at Octavia like she's the blood coursing through her veins, the air she breathes, the sun and moon in her sky. Octavia loved this girl. She's loved her sense the beginning of their time together, and she will continue to love her until the end of days. Clarke was her one. THE one. She only hoped Clarke feels as strongly as she does.

Still looking at Clarke, having not spoken a word still, she sees Clarke is about to question her again when she blurts out, "I love you, Clarke."

Clarke looks like she's taken back a bit from those words, mouth agape from getting ready to talk, and the shock of what was just admitted to her. She can't seem to form words. Is she to young to know what love is? Or is this love right in front of her, staring into her eyes, pleading, panicking.

Octavia loves her, and took a big risk telling Clarke. She knows that, but can she say it back to her right now? Is it to soon? No, it wasn't to soon. This was a long time coming. All those years spent not talking or seeing each other was torture for Clarke. Every day she wanted to talk to O, try and rebuild that broken bridge that was damage that night. She longed to hear Octavia's voice again, to touch her. Hold her like she used to when they would watch cartoons. She longs her it now even. She aches for Octavia. She loves her too, she knows it. She can feel it deep in her chest.

"Baby, you have no idea how much you mean to me. How much I need you. Any time away is torture, and I know that deep down what we have is real… I love you, Octavia Blake."

Octavia's dread floated away when she heard those words, she was waiting for the other shoe to drop, but it never did and she couldn't be happier. "Say it again." She spoke, grinning from ear to ear.

Clarke chuckled, "Octavia, I love you more than you could ever know."

Octavia lunged forward capturing her lips in a heated but passionate kiss full of joy and giddiness. Her kisses turned elongated, pouring out her love for Clarke. The blonde let her know she was feeling it when she sighed into one of the kisses. Octavia slide her hand along Clarke's side, resting just under her bra.

Clarke grabbed Octavia's hips to draw her in closer, the sensation making her moan. Hearing that sound Octavia became more adventurous, pushing the bra up exposing her voluptuous breasts. The cool air hit Clarke making her gasp, as Octavia moved down to her breast, placing her lips around the sensitive bud.

"Fuck." Clarke sighed, arching her back as Octavia swirled her tongue around the nipple. Taking the opportunity Octavia slipped her hands under Clarke and unclasped her bra, releasing the tension. Octavia then moved to the other bud, repeating her actions.

Clarke's hips were moving in a slow grind, driving Octavia wild. She released her hold on Clarke's nipple and moved up to her jawline, placing wet kisses along the way to the nape of the blonde's neck. Clarke was a whimpering mess.

"O, please."

Octavia knew what she was wanting, and truth be told Octavia was aching for it too. She stopped her successions, gazing at Clarke for a moment before sliding a hand down her body, stopping just before the hem of her jeans. Clarke gave her a quick nod, encouraging Octavia to continue. She wasn't going to lie, she was nervous. This was her first time, and if she wasn't mistaken it was Octavia's first time as well, but she felt safe with her, and if she wanted this moment to be with anyone in the world it would have to be her.

Octavia continued, teasing the blonde as she glided her hand along the hem, before pressing further. Clarke inhaled sharply as Octavia's fingers slipped under her panties. This was it. Moving along, Octavia ran her tips just outside the blonde's folds wanting to hear the blonde whimper and gasp.

"Octavia." Clarke warned, breathlessly.

The brunette chuckled, finally slipping a finger between her folds. Clarke gasped, bucking her hips. Octavia captured Clarke's lips, tugging on the bottom as she circled Clarke's clit. Clarke moaned out O's name, receiving a smug grin from the brunette. Clarke could fill the swelling sensation building deep in her stomach.

"Faster." She pleaded, begging to reach her peak. Octavia gladly obliged, adding another finger as she continued to circle her bundle like a of pack wolves circle their prey. She could feel the clit becoming more pronounced the more she rubbed. She too could feel something low in her belly.

"Oh shit. Fuck, O." Clarke whimpered, grinding her hips faster. She was almost to her peak, just a little mo-"

Clarke screamed Octavia's name. Hearing that load of a cry, Octavia quickly covered her mouth with hers as she rode out her orgasmic orgasm. It was a good thing Clarke's mother left, though Octavia almost came just off of hearing her name being screamed by her lover. Her pride swelled as she slowly withdrew her hand. Clarke running on pure autopilot took Octavia's fingers and licked them clean.

Octavia watched in amazement as her girlfriend tasted herself. "Fucking hell.." She whispered. Completely and utterly turned on. Clarke saw the desire in Octavia's eyes and quickly flipped them. Clarke made fast work of her girlfriend's pants and panties, tossing into the nether. Octavia shivered though her body was on fire.

Clarke grinned, taking in the glistening mound before her. She swiped a finger through making the brunette shiver even more. "Oh.. Wow" O breathed.

Clarke hummed her approval, licking the finger she swiped through. Octavia's eyes were blown as she watched, "Please baby." She pleaded, lifting her hips, inviting Clarke.

Clarke accepted leaning in. She nudged Octavia's knees apart, settling in between, making sure to secure her hips with her arms. She could smell the musk that was Octavia, and it was intoxicating to Clarke. She could get drunk of her girlfriend. Giving one last teasing look, she slid her tongue along the outer slit. Lapping up the juices that had been kindly waiting for her. She hummed again, watching as Octavia threw her head back when she lapped again. Starting an agonizingly slow pace she relished every sound coming out of the brunette's mouth.

"Fuck Clarke. Don't stop. Please don't stop." Octavia wasn't one for begging or showing weakness, but at this moment and with how great it felt, she was all for it. She would do whatever Clarke wanted.

Clarke picked up pace, filling the bud swell she knew Octavia was close. She decided to test the waters a bit, sliding a finger inside, curling it up just so. Hitting that good spot.

Octavia saw stars, lightening striking, and fireworks exploding behind her eyes and she fell of the edge into a blissful sea of ecstasy. Clarke held her tight continuing, but slowing her pace as the brunette rode though the waves.

Climbing back up, Clarke kissed her girlfriend who hummed at the taste. "That was.." Octavia tried.

"I know." Clarke added. They didn't need words, they just needed each other in this moment.

"I love you, O"

'I love you, Princess"

They soon after fell asleep in each other's arms.

Abby came home and checked on them, seeing them sleeping like that, it made her smile. She was happy for her daughter, and she was happy for Octavia as well. They needed to be in each other's lives.

Sighing happily, she went down to her room, removing her work necessities, placing her work badge into her sock drawer. Unbeknownst to her, lurking in the shadows outside was Bellamy.

Later that evening, Bellamy snuck in. He looked at the stairs, wanting to go snatch his sister and knock some sense into her, but he thought better of it. Would wake the whole house up, and Bell was here for a reason. He quietly snuck across the living room, past the kitchen into a dark hallway with three doors. Trying to get his bearings, he figured it was the room on the right.

He was right, Abby laid on her side fast asleep as Bellamy crept in. He immediately spotted the drawer in which she put her badge. Quietly opening it up he takes what he came for, leaving the drawer open as he makes his exit.

Bellamy laughs a menacing laugh as he drives away. "Now mother will look at me again. She won't she some failure who can't seem to do anything. Well guess what, mom. I've got a surprise for you."


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey guys, next Chapter! :) really enjoying writing this story so far. I have so many things planned for it. All written down in my small notepad lol. Just for you guys, I'll be doing the same fore other stories, just need time. Anywho, I hope you all enjoy.**

**Also, I know I'm writing Bellamy as a really evil guy, but I just want it known I don't have any bad feelings towards him in general, that's just how he needs to be to fit the story. So, I apologize if I offend anymore people. Let's do it!**

The early morning sun seeped through the blinds, leaving a soft glow through out the room. Octavia slowly opened eyes, taking in her surroundings. Everything looked different in the dim hue. She had never stayed the night before, but for some reason it felt right. Waking up next to Clarke was something she could do a thousand times and never tire from it.

The blonde was still asleep, facing away from the brunette. Octavia smiled, scooting closer to wrap the blonde in her arms. The action stirred the girl, who turned in Octavia's arms.

"Morning." Clarke mumbled sleepily, smiling at her girlfriend.

"Good morning. I didn't mean to wake you, I just wanted to hold you." Octavia admitted, placing a gentle kiss to her temple.

"T'ss fine." Clarke assured; her voice raspy, turning the rest of the way to face her. Clarke leaned in placing a chaste kiss against Octavia's lips. The brunette hummed in approval.

"I could get used to this." Octavia mused, kissing the blonde back with a little more passion. Clarke reciprocated immediately, wrapping her arms around Octavia's neck.

"Last night was amazing." Clarke groaned happily, recollecting last night's events.

"What do you say we mark morning sex off our list as well?" Octavia pulled Clarke closer, wrapping a leg around the blonde. Her arousal was building by the second just from being near the blonde.

"There's a list?" Clarke smiled lazily at the thought.

Octavia chuckled, kissing the blonde with even more hunger. "Only the list we make." She murmured, rolling Clarke onto her back. Her thigh settling between the blonde's. Clarke sighed at the contact. "Fuck, O."

"You want to do what?" Octavia questioned; her mood playful but also achingly aroused.

"Don't push it, Blake." Clarke sighed again as Octavia began to move her hips knowingly.

Clarke arched her head back, her sighs turning into moans. "God, that feels good."

Watching Clarke was making Octavia mental. She could easily get off just watching her girlfriend in pure ecstasy, but that wasn't going to be the case; well somewhat. Clarke lifted her leg, pressing her thigh against Octavia's heated core forcing a low moan out of the girl.

Her movements faltered a bit, "S-Shit." The new position forced Octavia to switch up her thrusts, insuring she connects with both cores, her breathes becoming ragged and strained as she worked her hips in circular motion. She really had no idea what she was doing, she was just rolling with it and by the sounds coming from the blonde she was doing a good job.

She could feel that familiar tug deep in her stomach starting to build the faster she went. Clarke's eyes were shut tight, her mouth in a silent o. Octavia shivered at the sight, she was doing this to her. Making her feel this way. Her pride swelled the more she watched; she could tell Clarke was right on the edge. She just needed a little push.

Octavia moved one of her hands between her thigh and Clarke's slick arousal, quickly finding her clit. The blonde cursed her name, clearly out of passion as she tensed up. Her eyes disappearing into her head, as she rode out her powerful orgasm.

Seeing this, Octavia too began to shudder, her movements becoming erratic as wave after wave of ecstasy tore through her body, falling onto the blonde when she could no longer hold herself up.

They both laid there for several minutes, panting and groaning. Their body's overwhelmed with sensitivity.

Finally, Octavia had the strength to move off her girlfriend, slumping to the side, completely spent. "Is it always going to be that intense?" She asked, turning to look at her lover.

Clarke shook her head, "No" she paused, trying to catch her breath, "I think it's only going to get better."

Octavia smiled at the blonde's answer. She was probably right, with as much passion and chemistry they have, there's no telling what's in store for them.

Just then there was a knock on the door, startling the two. "Y-Yes?" Clarke asked, quickly jumping out of bed to find her clothes.

"It's me honey, can I talk to you for a moment?" Her mother asked through the door.

"Uh, yeah just give me one second to wake up." She shouted back, mentally slapping herself when she realized she sounded more awake than ever.

"Okay honey. I'll be in my room."

They waited for a second before looking at each other, busting out laughing. "Shit.. Do you think?" Octavia inquired.

"No.. She would have said something."

"Maybe, or maybe that's why she's wanting to talk to you."

Clarke stopped for a moment. If that was true, she was probably just going to get a lecture about safe sex, or leaving the door open when Octavia is here, or… Not let her come over anymore.

"You okay?" Octavia asked, climbing out of the bed. Clarke looked at her, fear in her features.

"Hey, it's okay. C'mere." Octavia wrapped the blonde in her arms, "What thoughts have you concocted in that brain of yours?" She asks, kissing Clarke on the forehead.

"What if she doesn't let you back over here?"

"Oh, I don't think she would do that. Your mom is pretty understanding. She'll probably just set some rules." Clarke smiled at her girlfriend, was probably right, again.

Giving her a quick kiss, Clarke left the room. Octavia couldn't help but feel overwhelmingly happy about where her and Clarke were in their relationship right now. It just seemed so unreal.

Laying back in bed, she began to think about her life up to this point. Guilt taking over as she thought about her father. She knew she was getting in to deep. They admitted their love fore one another, for christ sake. She couldn't help but feel like she was betraying her family, her father, but what do you do when she and Clarke were destined for each other from the start?

Sighing she rolled onto her side, willing herself to go back to sleep. She didn't want to think about any of it anymore.

Downstairs, Clarke reached her mother's room. Taking a quick moment to calm her nerves before knocking.

"Come in." Her mother called. Clarke opened the door, walking through the threshold. Her mother was sitting on the bed, her phone to her ear. "Listen, Chief I'll have to call you back… Okay…. I understand the urgency, why do you think I called?... Yes sir… Yes.. sir… Mhm… Okay, I've really got to go… Okay, bye."

"Sorry about that." She sighed, tossing the phone onto the bed. "Come sit." **_'Oh, boy. We are having THE talk.'_** Clarke thought as she sat down next to her mom.

"What's up? Something going on at work?" She inquired, hoping to delay the talk.

"Well, that's what I wanted to talk to you about actually." She had a serious and stony expression on her face. "Now, I don't want you to get upset when I ask you these questions, okay?

Clarke stared for a moment, unsure how to answer. "O-Okay."

Her mother smiled softly before rubbing her temples as if trying to figure out how to ask what she wanted to ask. "You and Octavia have been dating now for… a week?"

Clarke nodded, becoming antsy.

"And since she's been back in your life, how well do you know her? Like, what is her personality like?"

**_'What?' _**This was not going where she thought. "She's um, she's very sweet and kind. Loving. Fiercely passionate about what she likes, and is so blunt and honest is so adorable. She is honestly the best person I've ever met, mom. She means a lot to me and I love her. I'm in love with her."

**_'Well, that wasn't what I was expecting.' _**Abby thought to herself as she took in her daughters' words. **_'Love'_** "I see, does she love you back?"

"She does. She's actually the one that said it first, and before you go off on your 'You're too young to know what love is, or that we've only been dating a week so we wouldn't know yet, tangent.' I do know its real, and so does she. This was a long time coming for us both, and if we had only been together all those years before…" She stopped, not wanting to bring it up. Her mother looked away as she was about to say it. "I just know, mom." She finishes, taking her mother's hand.

"Well, I'm happy for you, honey." Clarke could still see there was something else she wanted to ask, or say.

"What is it, mom? Who were you on the phone with when I walked in?"

Abby looked at Clarke, squeezing her hand. She's going to ruin her daughter all over again, but she has to ask. This is not some piece of gum missing from a pack, or missing bills from her wallet, this in much, much more. "My badge is missing."

"What? Did you maybe leave it at work?" Abby gave her a look. Clarke knew better but needed to ask anyway.

"My sock drawer was open this morning, and I am certain I closed it last night before bed. My badge was in there." Abby stopped for a second to think, she might lose her over this, but that was something they could rekindle over time.

Before she could speak again, Clarke asked, "You think is her, don't you?" Clarke's was becoming defensive.

"Do you?" Abby questioned, looking straight into Clarke's eyes for any doubt.

"No." Clarke hesitated. She wasn't sure. Octavia was the only one here. "I don't know" she whispered. A couple tears escaping her.

"Look, honey. I'm not mad if she did. I just need it back. It's very important I find that badge, do you understand?"

Clarke nodded, but was still in her head. She tried to think if there was ever a time Octavia wasn't by her side, and then something clicked. She had gone downstairs to get a glass of water at one point, but Clarke can't remember how long she was gone for.

"Just go talk to her, and watch her eyes. They always give people away, okay?" Clarke felt sick to her stomach. What would she do if Octavia did in fact steal the badge?

Clarke nodded before standing to leave, "Clarke… I love you."

"I love you too, mom." She whispered before leaving the room.

Walking down the hall Clarke was struggling with what she would say to Octavia. She just couldn't fathom the idea of her taking her mom's badge. **_'Why would she even need it? She has no use for it, right?'_** Clarke battled with her thoughts the entire way to her room. When she reached her room. she saw that Octavia was asleep again.

**_'She looks so peaceful, there's no way she did it.'_**

Clarke walked to the side she was lying on and gently sat down where there was open space. The movement and dip of the bed woke Octavia up. "Hey, how did your talk go? Do we need to keep a minimum of fifteen inches from each other?"

Clarke smiled at her at her, though it didn't quite reach her eyes. "What's wrong? Was it that bad?" Octavia questioned, sitting up to wrap the blonde in an embrace. "Whatever it is, well work through it, together. Okay?"

"Okay." She finally spoke, though it was more of a whisper. Octavia moved even closer, wrapping an arm around her waist to pull her back and onto her lap. Clarke didn't protest, she just simply moved, then started playing with her thumbs.

"Talk to me, princess." Octavia was becoming more worried by the second, the more the blonde stayed quiet. She couldn't understand why she was acting like this over what happened this morning, or was she assuming wrong, she also had a nagging feeling sitting in the pit of her stomach, one she did not want to think about, but had to ask. "Are.. Are you going to break up with me?"

Clarke quickly turned her head, now looking at the brunette in the eyes. "No! God no! I would never want that."

"Then what's going on?" Octavia was becoming annoyed now. She didn't like Clarke feeling or acting the way she was now. It scared her.

"Well, you know how my mom uses a badge to get into and out of her work?" Clarke watched Octavia closely now.

Octavia furrowed her brows; this was a random thing to ask. "I think so, yeah, but what does this have to do with anything?"

It all seemed genuine thus far, "It's missing. It was in her sock drawer, but when she woke up this morning the drawer was open and the badge was gone."

**_'Oh.. Now it all makes sense.' _**

"I see, and there was no one else here, but me." Octavia turns away from the blonde. Releasing her hold. "Do you really think I did it? Or just your mother?"

Clarke watched her, she seemed hurt by the accusations, but she could also be a great liar for all I know. "I think she misplaced it, but she's pretty adamant that she didn't."

Octavia nodded her head, she could tell Clarke wasn't telling the whole truth in that sentence, she was holding back. **_'How could this have happened, is her mother trying to break us apart?' _**

"Does you mom have a problem with me?"

Clarke was taken back, she knew that her mother didn't, and Octavia should know that too, but I guess she could understand feeling that way when she's being accused. I'm really starting to believe her. "No, baby. C'mere. She doesn't have a problem with you, I promise. It just the certia-" She froze mid-sentence, a thought popping into her head. "Wait, what if someone broke in?"

Clarke quickly got up to go check the downstairs, Octavia right be hind her once she was dressed. Clarke was in the living room when Octavia strolled in. "Well?" she asked.

"Look, the window lock is broken, they could of easily go lucky with this window and entered through here. It wasn't like that before, go outside and try to- are you okay, O? You look pale baby. Here come sit down." Clarke motioned to the couch next to her, but she needed to go. **_'Fucking Bell, I swear to god if you took it.. I'll'_**

"Babe?" Clarke was sitting waiting for to sit down.

"I've got to go, I just remembered Auroura wanted me home early and that's clearly not happening. So I shouldn't keep her waiting."

"Auroura? Why do you call her by her first name?" Clarke inquired, stand to meet the brunettes gaze.

"We, I.. Since dad.. She and I just don't have a good relationship anymore. I wish we did." Octavia's shoulders dropped, as she spoke. Her voice was low.

"I'm sorry to hear that, O. Really." It seemed genuine. Clarke wrapped her in her arms and held her tight, "I'm sorry we accused you. I'll let my mom know it was someone else, and tell her about the window okay?" Octavia just nodded.

"I know you need to go, so I'll let you go." Clarke said, leaning in to kiss Octavia. The kiss was slow and drawn out.

Breaking apart, Octavia gave Clarke a weak smile before leaving. Clarke still felt like there was something more going on that Octavia knew about. Her eyes were withdrawn.

"Well?" Clarke jumps as the sound of her mother's voice.

"Geeze mom, announce yourself next time."

Her mother gave her a look, "I did."

"Yeah, well. Anyway, it's not her, we came down to check if maybe someone had broken in and I noticed this latch is broken. The window just slides up easily, someone who wanted your badge for whatever reason must have come in this way."

Abby looked at the window, then around the room, looking for anything that may have been disturbed or any foot prints left behind. She didn't see anything. She looked back at Clarke, "That's a possibility yes, but how do we know she didn't do it to deter us from her?"

"Because I talked with her, and all her answers were genuine and I didn't see any hesitation or deceptiveness in her eyes." Clarke was becoming irritated that her mother was still accusing her girlfriend, "Do you have a problem with her, mom?"

"No! Absolutely not, honey. I'm just trying to cover all the bases."

"Well you keep working on that, I'm going to my girlfriend's house. My innocent girlfriend." Clarke was frustrated, and she knew she shouldn't be saying these things but she couldn't help it when it came to Octavia.

"Clarke.."

Without another word, Clarke grabbed her keys and left.

Back at the Blakes humble abode, Octavia burst through the front door, slamming it shut. She knew her mother was at work, so she didn't care what kind of entrance she made. "What the hell, O? You scared the shit out of me." Bellamy bit, getting off the couch.

"Where is it?" Octavia questioned, stalking towards her brother.

"Where is what?"

"Abby Griffins' badge, don't play stupid, I know you took it, Bell." Octavia was fuming, she pushed her brother's shoulder as she spoke. Backing him back onto the couch.

"Fucking hell, O. Lay off a bit, yeah? I don't have any badges, I promise! Why do you think it was me?" He was scoffing at her, his brows scrunched.

"Damn it, Bell, I said don't play stupid! Where. The. Fuck. Is. It? You are putting my relationship with Clarke on a very thin line because they think it was me. Now tell me!" She was so angry she was seeing red, the thought of losing Clarke drove her crazy, literally. The next thing she saw, was Bellamy holding his nose, blood dripping all over his favorite AHS shirt.

"The fuck, O! God damn that fucking hurts."

Octavia realized what she had done, she wasn't okay. She needed some fresh air.

Pulling the door open she is met by Clarke, who's standing there looking sad, and angry. "Clarke, what are-"

"You lied to me."

"What? No I didn't.. I swear ba-"

"I heard everything, O. I know your brother took it, but you knew."

"I didn't know until just before I left your house. When we discovered the window. I had a feeling." Octavia felt sick all of a sudden, overwhelmed with stress and anxiety of possibly losing Clarke.

"Hey, Clarke. Long time no see, how's it going?" Bellamy chose that time to invite himself into the conversation.

"Bellamy, go back into the house. I'm not kidding, I'll hit you were it counts." Octavia growled, glaring at her brother.

He just shrugged, "Not like it hasn't happened before."

Clarke was staring at his bloody nose, "Did you hit your brother?"

Octavia whipped around, "What?"

"Did. You. Hit. Your. Brother?" Bellamy was smiling in amusement; this is what he wanted.

"Y-es, but Clarke he deserved it. I.. Know he has it." She turned back towards Bell, "Last chance, B."

Bellamy shrugged nonchalantly, "I have no clue to what you are talking about."

"Omg.. Bell-"

"That's it. I don't want to hear anymore bullshit." Clarke had turned to leave, but stopped and turned back, meeting Octavia's eyes. "Was I just a game to you? Someone you FUCK a of couple times just to get to my mother?" Clarke was pissed, she also felt so sick. She couldn't believe she actually fell for a liar.

Octavia took a step towards the blonde, but she put her hand up, halting Octavia. "No, it was never a game. Clarke, I love you. I'm in love with you, please believe that. My heart is true to you, baby."

Clarke sighed, shaking her head lowly. "I just don't know if I can trust you anymore."

"Clarke, baby please don't do what you're about to do. Please I am begging you." Octavia was on the verge of tears. She couldn't lose Clarke.

"I think we need sometime apart." Clarke began to walk to her car. Octavia sprinted after her, grabbing her wrist.

Clarke stopped, but didn't turn around. "Clarke, don't do this. You have to know that my feelings for you are real, and true. I would never do anything to hurt you, Clarke, please. I can't go through this again."

Clarke's shoulders slouched as she turned to meet the brunettes gaze, she could still see Bellamy lurking in the distance. Sighing, she cupped Octavia's face and kissed her. Octavia closed her eyes, sighing into the kiss.

Clarke pulled away as quick as she had done it. "But you did hurt me, O. I can't forgive this right now. I need some time, please allow me that." She then turned around and got into her car, driving away.

Octavia stood there, her heart was shattering and she didn't know how to fix it. Tears escaped her, as Bellamy sauntered up next to her. "That was rough. I didn't think it'd go that well though."

Octavia turned towards him, scoffing. "You're a dick, you know that?" she said turning to walk away.

"Hey, O."

Octavia stopped. Bawling her fists.

"Now that she's out of the picture, are you back with us or are you going to abandon your family?"

She didn't reply, she just continued back into the house. She didn't want to be anywhere near him right now, so she ran up to her room and quickly packed a bag, while swiping through her contacts. "Reyes." She mumbled, quickly hitting dial.

"What's up, Blake? Haven't heard from you in a long time."

"Reyes, shits not good around my house. I need a place to crash, think you could do me that solid?"

"Uhm, sure, but what about your girlfriend? Wouldn't you want to stay with her?" Octavia cringed at the mention of 'girlfriend', she never wanted to hear Clarke's name again. Only to save her heart.

The silence was all Raven needed, "Oh, ok. Yeah come on over, hotshot. I'll make up my spare room for you."

"Thank you, Raven."

"Of course, O." With that, they hung up and Octavia continued her packing, her last moments with Clarke invading her thoughts. "God damnit.." she croaked, the tears starting to fall at full capacity. She slammed her fists onto her bed, as she continued to cry, falling to her knees.

"It'll get easier, O." Bellamy spoke. Entering the room, he spotted the bag. "Are you leaving?"

"Not that its any of your business, I am going to stay with a friend for a while." She scoffed, pushing herself up, she wiped away her tears.

She continued her packing as he came in, grabbing the bag. "You can't just walk away from this, O. You are a part of this."

"I've done my fucking part! Look what it got me! Now let go!" She bit.

When Bellamy wouldn't let go, rage began to pump through Octavia's veins. "Let. Go." She growled. She was sick of his antics.

"No." He stated, yanking at the bag. Octavia lost it, kneeing him in his, as he likes to call it, prized possession. He immediately let go, falling backwards. Octavia quick bolted out of the room, on her way through the kitchen she saw what looked like a lanyard partially hanging from on top of the fridge. '**_The cat must have knocked it down, or Bell is stupid. I'll choose the latter.' _**

She grabbed the string, and along came with it a badge with Abby Griffin's name on it. "O!" Bellamy shouted, stumbling down the stairs. She quickly bolted out the backdoor. Grabbing her bike, swiftly moving through the dirt path. Reaching the fence, she was about the unlatch it when she heard Bellamy shout again, he was in the backyard now. She quickly unlocked it, shoving it open She then hopped on her bike as the threshold was now open. She quickly rode off as Bellamy was coming around the corner.

"MOTHER WILL HEAR ABOUT THIS…. YOU'RE DONE, O!" He shouted after her.

Octavia didn't care anymore, her heart had been broken twice now and she never wanted to think about that house, or Bellamy again.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey guys, this one was hard to write for many reasons, I couldn't find the right flow at first, but I think I have it now. I hope you all enjoy and yes I threw some songs out there if you want to take a listen. ;)**

**Alrighty, well… Yeah. :)**

"So, do you want to talk about it?" Raven asked, handing the brunette a glass of water.

"Thanks." Octavia takes the glass and downs it, "I don't know. I don't know if I can but I really fucked things up."

"Okay, well it can't be that bad. I don't know you to do things that are to horrible. She'll come around." Raven tried to comfort her friend but she could tell this was much more than she could imagine.

"No, Rey. I fucked up, big time. I don't think she'll forgive me for this."

"Did you cheat on her?"

Octavia's head shot up at the question, "No! I would never do that to her."

"Well cheating kind of tops the cake in my book, so I like I said before, it can't be that bad." Raven took the empty glass from Octavia, "Do you need more?"

"Do you have anything stronger?"

Raven sighed, nodding her head as she got up to head towards the kitchen. "Yeah, all I have is vodka but O, you can't drown your sorrows away in vodka or any other alcohol for that matter."

"Just need to calm my nerves. I'll tell you everything after that." Raven brought back two glasses and the bottle of vodka setting them on the coffee table. She poured both of them a shot, then a second.

Octavia with some hesitation finally told her everything; from Abby arresting her father to seeing Clarke that first day of school, all the way to Clarke walking away.

"I love her, Rey. She's my one, but I fucked it up. It's what I deserve." Tears began to fall as she spoke.

Raven couldn't stand the sight of her friend in this state, even if she was a part of some revenge plot. "Come on, let's go."

"What? Where are we going?" Octavia wiped at the tears aggressively, looking to her friend in confusion.

"We're going to return the badge, that will be your first righting in this wrong." Raven grabbed the vodka and glasses taking them to the kitchen, "Then you are going to hope and beg that Mrs. Griffin will talk to you so you can explain yourself."

"Oh, no. Rey I can't do that. I'll never get to see Clarke again if I do that." Octavia stood abruptly and began to pace.

Raven walked over grabbing the girl by the arms. "Calm down, O, yes that's a possibility but it will be worse if you don't. You will continue to beat yourself up, I know you. Now grab the badge and let's go."

Octavia could see that Raven wasn't going to quit pestering, or let up anytime soon. So, without further complaint she grabbed the badge and they left.

Half way there, Octavia started to panic. "Raven turn around, I can't… I can't do this."

"Yes, you can, O. You're panicking because deep down you want to come out with the truth. Clarke will hear about this and she will appreciate the initiative you took with making things right, even if it goes against your family."

"That's what I'm afraid of. If Bell or my mom find out that I outed the plan, I don't know what they'll do. I don't even recognize my own brother anymore, Rey. It's like ever since dad was taken, he has changed into this delinquent hell bent on destroying Clarke and her mom's life. My mother is not any better, but she is more of a hands-off kind of person. No doubt she'll have Bellamy continue what I was supposed to do, and I just don't want to put Clarke in any kind of danger."

"Mrs. Griffin is a chief of police correct? She'll be able to handle things."

"and Clarke?" Octavia asked, scoffing at her friend.

"If she can handle you, she can handle just about anything I'd say." Raven chuckled at herself. Octavia wasn't the least bit amused.

"This isn't a joke, Raven! She could serio- "

"Okay, stop! If you don't want to do this, then I'll drop your ass back at your house where you and your family can continue this plan and you can sure as hell forget about getting Clarke back. Is that what you want?" Raven was sick of going around and around with her, she needed to knock some sense into the girl.

Octavia was quiet for some time before finally speaking. "Fine. If this is what it takes to get her back, then fine."

Raven growled under breath. "That's what I've been saying this whole time, but sure, I'm so glad you thought of that."

Octavia laughed, "I'm sorry, Rey. You are a great friend. You know, that right?"

"Duh." Raven mused, pulling the car up to Clarke's house. "This is it right?"

Octavia took a deep breath in. "Yep. This is it." The double meaning behind that did not go unchecked.

They got out of the car and slowly walked up the drive. Octavia was shaking. Raven stopped her turning her to face her. "Breathe, O. You've got this." After receiving a nod from the brunette, they continued, only stopping when they reached the door. Octavia took another deep breath, preparing herself. Luckily, Clarke's car wasn't here so she didn't have to worry about seeing the blonde.

After knowing twice, they were greeted by Clarke's mom. "Octavia, how are you? Clarke isn't here at the moment."

Octavia was confused, **_'Did Clarke not tell her about what happened?'_**

"Hi, I'm Raven. One of Octavia's good friends. We're actually here to talk with you." Raven spoke up after a minute or two of Octavia just standing there. "Aren't we." She encouraged, pumping the brunette in the shoulder.

"Yes, sorry. Mrs. Griffin may we sit down and talk for a moment?"

"Well I actually have dinner going right now, but you are welcome to come in and wait while I finish. Shouldn't take long. Is everything alright, though?"

"Well, I don't know yet. That's up to you." She stated, fishing out the badge from her pocket and letting it dangle from her hand. "My brother took this, and I wanted to give it back to you, but I'd like to sit down and talk about why he took it."

Abby took the badge from the girl, "Well I'm guessing there is a good reason, otherwise you wouldn't be here right now. Come in, come in." She ushered the girls inside. Octavia was a little thrown by how calm Abby reacted.

"Let me just stir the soup really quick and then we'll talk, would you girls like anything to drink?" She asked once she was in the kitchen. Both girls politely declined.

Once Abby returned, she took a seat on the couch across from Octavia and Raven, "Now please explain why your brother stole my work ID badge."

A little over an hour and two lemonades later, Octavia had explained the entire situation. Abby was calm and only nodded here and there. After she was done the woman took a deep breath, processing everything.

"So, for a decade now your mom has been coming up with this plan to seek revenge on myself and Clarke and because you two were inseparable before she felt it was a good idea for you two to become friends again?"

Octavia nodded.

"But when you two started talking again and hanging out, you two fell in love. Correct?"

"Yes, mam."

Abby blew a breath out, "This is a lot to take in. So, now you don't want to be a part of the plan, because?"

"Because she found out her brother had taken the badge and confronted him and- "

At that moment the front door opened. Octavia's heart dropped. "Mom, do you have someone… Oh." Clarke stopped when she saw the brunette, "What's going on?"

"Octavia was just filling me in, and brought my badge back. Who's your friend?"

Clarke had forgotten all about her friend, the shock of the moment still present. "Oh, this is Lexa. We are in Athletic Training together."

Octavia could feel her heart breaking a little more by the sight of another girl with Clarke. "I see, well dinner is almost ready if your friend would like to stay. You two are welcome as well." Abby said turning her attention to Raven and Octavia.

"No, it's ok. We need to get going anyway, thank you for listening. I don't know what will happen, but I wanted you to know." Octavia stated standing to leave.

"Are you guys sure you can't stay? There is plenty of soup."

Octavia looked at Clarke who quickly looked away when they made eye contact. That hurt Octavia, "That sounds amazing, but we should really go. We've over stayed as it is."

Octavia walked up to Clarke to say something, anything, but couldn't find the words. Clarke kept her head low. Raven could sense the tension, "Hi I'm Raven." She greeted extending her hand.

Clarke met her eyes, "Nice to meet you. I'm sure you know who I am." She stated with a hint of bite to it, not shaking her hand.

"Clarke, be nice." Her mother warned.

"It's okay, Mrs. G." Raven smiled, taking Octavia by the hand to pull her towards the door. Once outside Raven walked briskly towards the car, Octavia in tow.

That was until Clarke called for her, "Octavia, wait up a second."

"If you're going to yell at me, please don't."

"She your next victim?" Ouch, that hurt.

"Seriously? You're one to talk, Clarke. Who is that broad really? You've never once mentioned her." Octavia spat back, getting in the blonde's face. "Raven." She put emphasis on the girl's name, "Is just a friend. She was only here for support. I can't believe you'd even suggest I'd move on from you just like that. It hasn't even been five hours Clarke, Jesus!"

Raven rolled her eyes from the other side of the car **_'Will they just make up already?'_**

"Well how am I supposed to know that? I don't even know if anything you've told me is true or not. How can I trust you; You've been lying to be for over a month now!"

"I've made my peace with your mom. I want to make peace with you, but I don't see that happening anytime soon. Raven is just a friend. She's letting me stay with her. I'm done with my mom and brother, please believe that at least. That's all I ask."

Clarke stared at her for a moment, "I just don't think I can, O. I'm sorry."

"Please, Clarke." Octavia pleaded, but just walked back inside without another word.

Raven walked up to Octavia, "Come on, let's go home and get drunk."

A couple weeks went by with the blonde ignoring Octavia every time she tried to talk to her. Clarke had also moved seats in Mr. Aldrich's leaving Octavia by herself. Sooner after Octavia stopped showing up all together. She fell into a deep depression and started to take to drinking to ease the pain.

Raven was worried about her, so she did the only thing she could think to do. "Hey, we need to talk."

Clarke closed her locker turning towards the raven-haired girl. "Raven right? Listen, if this is about O- "

"No, you listen. My friend is in the state she's in because of you."

"I'm pretty sure she did- "

"I'm not done. She's turned to drinking to help her cope, but it has gotten way out of hand. The other night I found her passed out on our balcony, not to mention the numerous times I found her in the bathroom. She's not okay. I'm not asking for you guys to make up, I'm just asking you come and see her. Talk to her, or she's going to end up killing herself" Raven could see the obviously fear in Clarke's eyes.

She opened her mouth the say something when a certain brunette decided to walk up. "Hey, how's it going? I'm Lexa by the way."

Raven rolled her eyes, "Just forget it, Clarke. I'll take care of her myself." With that she turned and stomped off.

"What did I miss?" Lexa questioned. Clarke didn't answer, she just stood there.

**Clarkes POV**

She stood in front of a bright red door, willing herself to knock. She had gotten Raven's address from Murphy, a mutual friend. Just as she was about to knock the door swung open revealing a smirking Raven.

"Took you long enough." She stated, opening the door wider so Clarke could enter.

"How did you- "

"Murphy. What, you didn't think he would tell me?" Clarke shrugged; she didn't know what to think these days.

"Come on, she's in her room. Sleeping of the fifth she drank."

"She's drinking that much?!" Clarke almost screeched.

"Oh, no. Sorry she finished what was left of it, which was still a lot don't get my wrong, but she's not that bad yet. God, I think she'd be dead if she drank that much." Raven more of murmured the last part. "Come on, come on. Let me close the door."

"Sorry. Umm, I'm still going back and forth about I should be here or not." Clarke admitted, rubbing her arm.

"Do you really think you'd have showed up if you weren't sure." She had a point.

"Her room is down the hall to the left." Raven nodded her head in the direction before closing the door.

Clarke made her way down the hall; hesitating every few steps. When she finally reached Octavia's room the door was ajar and she could see Octavia curled up with tissues surrounding her.

A song played lowly in the background, "She's had that song on repeat for weeks now."

Clarke looked at Raven, "What song is it?"

"I think Heaven by Mokita." Raven watched Clarke for a moment, the girl was clearly hurting too. "What are you waiting for?"

"She's asleep though." Clarke stated, opening the door a little more.

"She'll wake up for you." Raven said before walking away. "I've got to go but I'll be back later."

Clarke didn't answer. After a few moments, she finally stepped inside the room. It looked like someone tore the place apart, most like Octavia. She continued in still holding onto hesitation. As she reached the bed; she could tell Octavia had been crying for a while due to the red circle and puffiness around her eyes.

Octavia was holding something in her hand, it looked like a crumpled-up piece of paper. Clarke carefully extracted it from her hand uncrumpling it once it was received. It was a partially written note, addressed to her.

**Dear Clarke,**

**I don't know how many times I've rewritten these and will probably rewrite this again, because I can't seem to find the words to let you know how sorry I am for hurting you. In the beginning that was in intentions, but then we rebuilt our friendship and I got to see a piece of you I never thought I would.**

**You saved me, Clarke. I wasn't in a good headspace when we first started talking again and by no means is that an excuse. My mother changed me, groomed me to hate you and your mother but you changed that.**

**Truth is, I couldn't find a way to end what my mom wanted and for a while I had forgotten about it because I was with you and you showed me how to love again.**

**I know all of this sounds like an excuse to save my own ass, but its not. I was broken and you saved me and I will continue to say that because it is true. Just like my love for you is. **

**I will never be able to make it up to you. I will never be able to tell you how sorry I am because you will never see this, and... Geeze this is where it gets hard to write because I've decided to let you go. You deserve to be happy and with someone who hasn't and wont ever break your heart.**

**I need you to know that no matter what, I will always love you.**

**Guess this note is really just an affirmation to myself. To solidify my choice.**

The rest of the note is blank, but there are apparent tear drops all over the paper. Clarke couldn't hold back the sob. She was torn, she didn't know if she could forgive her just yet but she couldn't lose her again. Not after just getting her back.

She folded the note up and put it in her pocket before walking around to the other side of the bed. She stood there for a moment staring at Octavia's sleeping form before climbing in behind her. She wrapped her arms around her pulling her close. Resting her head in the crook of her neck.

Octavia began to stir, mumbling incoherently. Clarke smiled at how cute she sounded. "O" she whispered, stirring the girl further.

"Clarke?" she mumbled, turning to face her. When she saw the blonde, she immediately started crying pulling at Clarke to bring her closer.

"Shh, it's okay."

"No, it's not. This is just a dream. It's always a dream." Octavia cried, shaking.

Clarke thought for a moment, it would probably best to let her think this was only dream. Clarke wasn't ready to forgive her just yet.

"It's going to be ok, O. Someday well get back to being us."

Octavia opened her eyes and saw heavy blue ones staring back at her. She didn't think twice before leaning in and quickly kissing Clarke on the lips. It was a chaste kiss, only for Octavia to know if this was real or not.

Before she could give it anymore thought those lips were back on hers. Clarke initiating this time. Octavia whimpered as she grabbed the blonde's face, holding her there as the two kissed. It was filled with passion, and remorse.

Octavia swiftly got on top of Clarke, straddling her waist. Clarke couldn't help the moan that bubbled to the surface. She then grabbed Octavia by the hips and rolled her over to where she was now on top. She needed control.

Breaking the kiss, Clarke hastily pulled her shirt over her head tossing in into the abyss. Heavy breathing filled the air with Mokita's Kiss & Tell playing in the background.

Octavia groaned at the feeling of Clarke on top of her. She missed this.

Sitting up Octavia did the same with her tank top, another item lost to the outside world. This was their moment, however long it lasted. Octavia then tossed Clarke onto her back, her head at the foot of the bed as Octavia placed hot kisses along her abdomen while unfastening the girls sweat pants. They both knew this was going to be hasty, but the love behind it was no less.

"Fuck." Clarke moaned, leaning up on her elbows to watch as the fabric was removed. Octavia met her eyes. They were filled with hunger and adoration for Clarke.

Needing to feel her Clarke reached down for the brunette pulling her against her body. The two crashed lips, Octavia sucking on the girl's bottom lip eliciting a hearty groan from the blonde.

"I've missed you so much." Octavia whimpered between kisses. "I'm so sorry, Clarke. I'm so sorry."

Clarke couldn't take hearing that right now, so she hushed the woman wit her lips, reaching down to push her elastic shorts off. Octavia helped, kicking them away. Both women moan at the bare heated contact.

"Fuck, please do something." Clarke was losing it and she didn't want this moment to be ruined, so she begged for Octavia to take her.

She quickly obliged moving one thigh between hers, while rotating their hips just so. When Octavia pressed her hips down it was like the fourth of July. Their lips pressed together in a silky erotic way as she began to roll her hips.

Clarke couldn't help the moaning the Octavia's name which only edge the brunette on. Octavia hovered above the blonde staring into her eyes as she watched the ecstasy roll of her face.

Octavia began to roll her hips even faster leaning down to capture Clarke's lips. Clarke couldn't concentrate, the sensation blowing her mind. This was so much different than the last time.

"I love you." Octavia, couldn't help herself as the words slipped form her mouth. Clarke froze, everything hitting her like a ton of bricks. Octavia noticed and stopped what she was doing.

They stared at each other for a long moment. Octavia trying to convey how she felt.

Clarke couldn't handle it as she gently pushed Octavia off, and began to gather her close. "Clarke, please don't leave. I'm sorry, I couldn't help myself. It's true though, and I know you still feel that same. I could see it in your eyes." Octavia pleaded, jumping from the bed to stop the blonde.

"Please, Clarke. Don't leave me again."

Hearing those words broke the blonde's heart, but she just wasn't there yet. "I'm sorry, O. I still need time."

Octavia became frustrated, "How long? It's been weeks, Clarke, either you want to try and fix this or you don't! What do you want?!" she really didn't mean to raise her voice, but all her emotions where coming forward. She couldn't keep doing this.

"Fix it? You call drinking yourself into a stupor fixing this? I only came because Raven was worried about your drinking." That wasn't the right thing to say, and Clarke knew it immediately after. "I'm sorry." She said, looking away.

"Just go." Octavia whispered, walking back to her bed.

"O."

"GO!" Clarke jumped. Realizing the brunette was not going to talk anymore, she threw her shirt on then walked out the door.

Octavia laid back in bed, pulling the covers over her head as the tears began to fall.

This was her life. She did this to herself. Grabbing her phone, she changed the song to Heavier by Slaves and willed herself to sleep.


End file.
